nothing like motherhood

there is nothing like motherhood to make you get over any fear of bodily functions you may have had.

there is nothing like motherhood to rob you of any sense of time and sleep.

there is nothing like motherhood to turn your lifestyle upside down and make every single one of your priorities shift.

there is nothing like motherhood to make you worry more and dream bigger.

there is nothing like motherhood to make you appreciate the people you choose to keep close.

there is nothing like motherhood to help you understand why some people have made the choices that they did.

there is nothing like motherhood. nothing.

arrival of the prince

if you thought i had been a terrible blogger before, it's only going to get worse i fear....because i became Chandler Wyatt's mommy on January 19, 2010!

it was just a routine doctor appointment, or it was supposed to be. he told me that if i hadn't delivered by next week's appointment, he would induce. with that in mind, we went for our weekly ultrasound. but no matter how much the tech jiggled and pushed and tried to pester, Chandler wasn't moving as much as they'd like.

off to labor and delivery we went, "just to be monitored for awhile".

his movements didn't pick up, so we induced. contractions were uncomfortable, but nothing near the horrific things i had forced myself to witness on television. however, that's because they didn't let me carry on for hours. i'm certain things could have gotten unbearable. however, true to form, he kept hiding from the heart monitor (he's done this the entire pregnancy...he's shy). with every contraction, he was expressing his displeasure with the process. thankfully, my doctor made a decision-emergency caesarean section.

everything became a blur..wheeling me to the operating room...strapping me to the table like i was a mental patient.....covering my head with blue paper. i was numb from the neck down. i could hear voices, but couldn't see a thing. my wonderful husband had his head poked under there with me, and when i saw his eyes filled with tears and heard that tiny cry 2 minutes later, i knew everything was about to change.

he was 7 lbs and 1 oz, and 20 inches long. he has a tiny bit of hair, and very long toes and fingers. he smiles in his sleep and has a dimple on his left cheek. his daddy is over the moon about him, and although i may be biased, i think he's one of the handsomest little fellas i've ever seen.

i'll save my adventures of new motherhood for another blog. suffice to say it's like boot camp. i've never existed on so little sleep, and i learn something new everyday. it's overwhelming, both with anxiety and joy. i've traded daily hot showers for getting sprayed with baby pee and crusted with formula. thank goodness for my family, who have been a tremendous help when i feel like i'm flying blind. and thank goodness for my husband, who more than pulls his weight on every front.

i feel super lucky. and super tired....

it gets worse?!

that's just what i get for thinking i had a clue what i was doing.

i've read LOTS of books, talked to lots of mothers, but being pregnant is an experience that you really can't explain to anyone. no matter how someone tries to explain it, until you do it, you're riding blind.

i know what they said about contractions. i thought i understood what they meant. and i thought that i'd know when they were happening to me. i was determined not to be one of those goofy people who shows up at the hospital thinking they were in labor, only to be sent home because they were mistaken.

those people obviously just don't pay attention, or they are being impatient, or maybe even a little wimpy.

except i was one of those people last night, and i feel like an idiot!!

i guess i don't know what a "this means business" contraction feels like, because i sure thought last night was it. this also means that since i wasn't in labor last night and thought i was, that real labor is going to be worse.

aargh. worse? mother of pearl. i'm not sure if i wanna do this anymore. is it too late to back out????

#637 of motherhood adventures i'd rather not have

i fully admit that i am terrified that this will happen to me. just watching it makes me want to gag and take a shower.

my beef with texting laws

as 2010 rolls in, i'm now a resident of a state that has outlawed texting while driving.

before i have my rant, let me say that i believe that texting certainly can be a distraction. i'm not saying that people should be able to try to multi-task everytime they get behind the wheel. texting while driving has caused a lot of tragedies on our roadways, and i think some boundaries should be in place to regulate it.

talking while driving is a distraction. changing the radio station while driving is a distraction. setting the cruise control is a distraction. eating while driving is a distraction.

i'm not convinced that making texting illegal is the answer.

if it's found that texting is the cause of an accident, then i absolutely agree that a person should be charged with reckless driving. but simply getting a ticket for texting? there are too many loopholes.

my main question is, how are they accurately going to prove if a person was texting? they may not be able to see the phone, and so when i ask people that question, they say "you can see what time the text came across". if you own a cell, you know that your texts don't always come across in a timely way. i've gotten texts from people that were days old. if you are in an area with bad reception, you won't be having a real-time conversation either. so if a text comes across at the wrong time, you could basically get charged erroneously. i have a big problem with this.

so that's my issue with one of the new laws of 2010. i'm not diminishing the horrific events that have been caused by some careless drivers, but i think the remedy that's being taken is a little unfair.

an easy out, by text

if you know anything about texting, you know it has both it's conveniences and it's inconveniences.

i've had many text conversations that were misinterpreted because of the very nature of this particular way of communicating. since you can't see their face or hear a tone of voice, it's hard to tell when someone is being sarcastic, and it can be difficult to distinguish the meaning of a statement based on text. still, it's so quick and easy that the miscommunications are overlooked and daily texting goes on.

i've blogged before about texting the wrong thing to the wrong person. yikes, let's move on.

over the holiday, i sent out a mass text to many people in my cell's phone book, saying merry christmas. sometimes the holidays are the only time i text some of those people. i have numbers in my phone for people that i don't talk to very often.

maybe this has happened to you, as the texter or the textee...but i got back a response that said, "who is this?"

then, it's decision time. there are a couple of reasons a person might get a response like that. perhaps someone changed their phone and hasn't added you back into their phone yet. or...they have taken your number out of their phone because they don't really see the need to keep it around.

you can answer their question or you can use it as an out. i thought about it for about three seconds and realized that i didn't really need that person's number either. the joy of text is that they'll never know if they accidentally got a text for someone else. and since they don't know who you are, you won't look like a jerk.

with a few quick pushes of a button, i removed that person from my list. it felt a little like cleaning house emotionally, and made me wonder who else in my phone ought to get the axe.....

nothing but time to worry

i feel pretty helpless right now.

i'm bed and couch bound, which means i have to resist my nesting urge. it makes me feel like i contribute very little to the household stuff, so i try not to run my husband everywhere. he's taking it like a champ.

knowing i'd be out of work for awhile was daunting, but then i found out it's a little worse than i thought.

since i haven't been at my job a year, they have to post it. as in, there's a pretty good chance it won't be there when i come off maternity leave. it would be protected by FMLA had i been there a year, but me and my impeccable timing...

the only sort of bright spot is that my employment with the company is protected for six months. however, this means they can offer me a janitorial or a cook position and they are still within their bounds.

one of my co-workers informed me today that they posted my hours. i was so relieved when i got those hours-it made my job a little more tolerable. better hours are snatched up fast in that department, which means even if i do get back into the department, i'll be back working 11-7:30. that's definitely not ideal for a new mom who has to drive 30 minutes to work and would prefer to get the little one on a schedule where they are in bed at a decent hour. i'd get home around 8:00 pm and have almost no time for baby and husband (who leaves for work at 10:30 pm).

it's frustrating, but i can't do anything about it. i have to be on bedrest, and i have to be on maternity leave. i've had lots of people tell me that maybe this is a blessing in disguise, and that maybe the position i'll get instead will be better.

i hope so. the possibility of not having a job and having a new baby to take care of is terrifying.

it does no good to worry since i can't change it....but i can't seem to help myself.